My wife and I get so many weird comments when we mention how we travel without each other. I travel a lot for work, which people can understand, but they act like we have done something horrendously terrible when they find out that we will take random trips for fun without each other. (OK, mainly I travel a lot because of my flexibility… and yes, she would like to come with me, but she has her own life which comes with responsibilities that prevent her from joining me.) I feel like there is a stereotype that you can only travel for fun with your spouse after you get married. Seriously, when did this become a ‘thing’? Why can’t we have our own independent lives that we choose to live regardless of our marital status? If things work out that we end up spending a lot of time together, so be it. If not, what’s the big deal?
I find that healthy couples need to have separate interests and hobbies, otherwise you will spend every waking moment with each other. Think about that… you will be spending EVERY WAKING MOMENT… together. I love my wife, but I need a break from her every now and then. Time apart from each other definitely allows you to be more appreciative of the time you do spend together.
Moreover, we each have different things and hobbies we like to do, so we must learn to support each other’s choices. Every person is unique and that should be embrace them. My wife does not hold a grudge when I go on a mileage run or take a quick 3 day trip to see a new city or just to get out of the cold Michigan winters. (Seriously, I start to freak out if I don’t get some sunshine or warm weather after a while…) She knows these things are important to me, so she lets me be me. Similarly, if she wants to take a new class (which I’m shocked to find out she wants to try), I am supportive of her because that’s her choice. Pretty simple if you ask me.
So people (namely our parents **cough cough**), please, get over this misconception that your life ends when you are married, or that you can do nothing (major?) without each other. The only thing that should change is that you have a partner in crime to help support your crazy ways. You don’t necessarily have to agree with everything they choose to do, as long as they are not harming themselves in any way shape or form, as long as they are doing what they love. All I’m asking is that we, society as a whole, should be able to understand that you cannot control people as much as you would like. So please, keep your rude/harsh/biased judgements to yourself. This is easier said than done, but in reality, these thoughts are not getting you anywhere fast.
