I used to be someone who had to know everything in advance… well, I still am that way a little… After my wife and I spent 3 months traveling around Asia, my perspective on how to travel and how to live each day changed dramatically. What I learned on this trip taught me valuable lessons on how your mindset affects your way of thinking when handling all kinds of situations. These insights are something I now try to incorporate in my everyday life, as well as share with others.
Let’s start with some background, because I was scared to death to go through with this trip. We kept setting “tentative” dates, continuously pushing back when, or if we would head out to Asia. This happened so often that my wife thought we were never actually going to go. The problem wasn’t that we didn’t want to go, we both knew this was a goal of ours. The issue was that I never truly felt comfortable with following through with our dream. As time went on, I kept doubting that we could actually do this, which also rubbed off on my wife a little. Throughout my life before the trip I loved having stability: a steady income, a somewhat regular schedule, some sense of knowing where I was heading in my career. I feared that if we went on this trip, we would not have a job to come back to, we would be broke, and end up living on the streets. I would have to go through so much effort to get myself back into my ‘comfortable’ American dream life. Yes, I was creating an issue that wasn’t even presenting itself yet. There was no way for me to know if any of my concerns would happen with any certainty. I would have to step outside my comfort zone for once.
To say that I overthink things is an understatement. I want to know that things will work out for the best, and that I will have some kind of plan to know what’s coming up next. This is not a bad thing in and of itself, but when this comes between following through with your dreams or staying put, these thoughts can be killer. The truth was that our trip was going to be 3 months long. Knowing exactly what to expect each and every day would be impossible, and that’s what kept holding me back. I wanted to plan things down to the day so badly. Finally, I realized I would have to throw in the towel and say ‘F*** it!’ Once I had that enlightenment, we finally set firm dates and our adventures began.
Our first month we spent in China where we had a fairly structured itinerary since we went through a tour group. I was very pleased since we knew where we were headed and how we were going to get around. After China, everything was up in the air. I was scared shitless. I was so nervous that we would not have a place to stay each night, and we would surely end up in some bug infested dump. We never ended up in a place like that, but we did stay as some ‘budget’ accommodations. As our trip went on, the excitement of finding something a night or two in advance was actually quite entertaining. We got some great deals and, conversely, stayed in some strange places (there was a rock in the middle of our room… yes, a random rock..). The trip had its ups and downs. Rather than ramble on and on about our trip, we made it out alive. We always had a place to stay and a place to eat. We were always able to find our way to the next city (with the occasional issue here or there, but nothing we couldn’t handle).
Essentially, this trip taught me to ‘go with the flow’ because everything will work itself out. There’s no sense in worrying, because we humans are resilient. We can handle the challenges that are thrown at us every day, even though they may seem daunting. I still overthink things, but I am definitely not as bad as I was. I have learned that the best adventures in life are ones where you follow your gut and just go for it. This might require that you step outside your comfort zone a little bit and find out who you are. Life is too short to spend worrying about tomorrow, because being in the present is all that matters. Who knows, you might get hit by a bus tomorrow. You are better off trying something new than continuously wondering ‘what if’ you did or didn’t do something you’ve always wanted to try.
How I Learned To ‘Go With The Flow’ On Trips
